No Habla Espanol mofo!

Would you like to know the reason why I am in a hurry to learn Spanish, and why I'm going to learn Spanish swiftly. Well... Recently I went to Mexico to visit a friend's parents, in which case I figured if I wanted something I'd just point and click... well... at least point, don't know how well that clicking part would play over, but I'm pretty sure that had I spoken any English, my words would work just as well, being not at all. Anyhow, it seemed that everywhere I went people seemed to know I wasn't from around there, but would assume I could speak Spanish due to them being under the impression that I was from another country thus one of a Spanish culture. This led them to talk to me at speeds rivaling the travel of light. Damn... and to think I made straight A's in Spanish class too... What!? i respond.. Yo no comprendo y no hablo muy mucho espanol, solamente paquito. Okay... so I've just said I can't understand nor speak a lot of spanish, only a little... but for some odd reason, this seemed to excite them, as there words increased from 5 words a second to 7 words a second. Alas, I thought to myself... if only I could learn to listen, understand, and speak spanish swiftly

Shortly thereafter, I found myself surrounded and didn't know whether to say the same thing again being all that I could think of at the moment, or just all out run and see if they could run as fast as they could talk. Hmm... had it not been so many of them I could possibly have roared like an angry beast to see if they scurry away, but I was outnumbered so I decided to play it cool. Instead, I extended my hand and pointed at something behind the case thinking if I bought something they'd leave me alone. I pointed to a strange looking vial which looked like some form of lip balm, in which the clerk said something to me but I had no clue what, so I said yes I'll take one, which I said by lifting 1 finger.

After purchasing it, the clerk said something (probably cracking a joke on me) which made all those surrounding me point and laugh. To make a long story short, I ended up letting this guy talk me into buying some form of wannabe aphrodisiac made from a squirrel's nuts, snake droppings, barracuda spit, elephant tusk shavings, and God knows what else. I guess I should have taken the time out to actually learn Spanish instead of thinking I knew it eh? That being in the past... I have 45 days before I get to go back, so I think I'll take up this offer I've found which, after doing the proper research, seems to get great reviews and be listed as the number once choice. Rocket Spanish and see what I can learn before it's time to go. I think it'll be worth saving myself from any further embarassment... hopefully the store owners aren't the same, and nobody remembers me.

For those interested to know.. my program of choice is Rocket Spanish, for obvious reasons.